Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
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