mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
