woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
