so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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