Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
