Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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