I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
