I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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