If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
