i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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