i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
