Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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