my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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