Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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