i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
