yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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