It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
