we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
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