he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
