So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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