So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
