She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
