"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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