ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
