she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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