I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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