her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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