But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
