i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
