Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
