i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
