nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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