i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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