thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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