is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
