I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
