the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you traded sex for a burrito?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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