Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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