im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You are a genius and a whore.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
