and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
