i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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