two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
