it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
