Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
