i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
