We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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