Porn is love you can see.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
