Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
