we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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