Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
