I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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