We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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