It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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