only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
