you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
